I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize