We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
