Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The power of my boobs compel you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
