i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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