I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
