I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
