Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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