We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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