Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
