I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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