THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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