my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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