No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
