I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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