too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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