Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
