great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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