I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
