you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
