I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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