shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize