You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
