sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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