How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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