I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
