3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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