Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
