OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
