What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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