I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
