Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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