just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
