he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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