so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
