quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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