Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
