We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
