someone get that fucking seahorse.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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