i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
