have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize