I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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