Only a mothe r could love this liver
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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