addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
