i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize