whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
