Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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