I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
