i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
