She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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