After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
