I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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