So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
