I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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