i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
