it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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