i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i think i have two assholes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize