She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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