Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
