Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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